I prepared this post for today!

"On The Train" by Basement Jaxx

Ok. So I was at the train station this morning. Which one? Courtlandt. I hate that station so much now. Why? Well, I used to be moderately ok with it. Until one day... I looked upwards.

39I04I2IR934RKFDLOER';[;RPE-FL3R[E!!!

No seriously. Don't look up. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. Just don't look up and you'll be ok. (I am tall so I have to make sure I don't walk into a web face first. Your "up" is my "neutral", so I have to be careful at the Courtlandt station also, they are NEVER on the ground so just don't look up.)

You know what we should do? Change the topic as quickly as possible. K?

So, I was waiting for the train and a stranger interacted with me. This woman was in her fifties and she usually drove everywhere so she had questions as to how to get back to Yonkers. I gave her exact and precise directions. I even pointed to the exact locations on the WHOLE HUDSON LINE TRAIN SCHEDULE telling her EXACTLY what needs to be done. She still seemed confused.

Soooooo, what you'ree sayiiing issss???

And the next time I tried to explain it AGAIN. She was blindsided by the flowers on the side of the train tracks.

Umm... HELLOOOOOO???

Then she told me she went through two bottles of whiskey this morning.

THAT EXPLAINS IT.

I thought she was just confused by the confusingness that is the MTA but no. She was drunk. I still helped her as best I could and I learned more too while trying to help this lady understand how to get to Yonkers. Like the fact that she had been attending AA and goofed up this morning.

PLOT. TWIST.

And then she talked about how drunk she was and how horrible she felt and how embarrassing this situation was for her. Then I felt the sympathy sadness.

Dammit.

Then, the guy sitting on the other end (he also tried to help her for a little bit.) He said he knows how she feels because he attends NA and he's goofed up before too.

DOUBLE PLOT TWIST?!?!?

Then the train arrived and we got on and she tried to ask the conductor what TRACK the train she needed would be on after arriving at Croton-Harmon for the transfer to Yonkers. This after I specifically told her the conductor wouldn't know the answer... She then went on to a rant about "kids these days" and got mad at the conductor for not knowing the track number when they are chosen at random everyday at larger stations like Croton-Harmon.

She's drunk.

Being that it was the day after after prom, I actually kinda agreed with what she said in her drunk rant. The conductor obviously did absolutely nothing wrong but the drunk lady ranted about my generation and how everyone is doing all sorts of unnecessary and trivial things at my age and living pretty meaninglessly. You know "kids these days with their pot and their loud rap music and their pointless bodybuilding." I took note that she didn't say "alcohol" in her rant. Even though there was such a wide age gap, this drunk woman was sharing this extraordinary TRUTH about life and youth and she got it and I got it and for a moment, we both knew "stuff".

This particular rant sparked some CRAZY MASSIVE questions in my mind. I am technically part of the generation she loathes,  but why did she rant to my face? Her rant was directed at me. And no, I wasn't the butt of it. It was directed at me in a sharing sense. Why me? Aren't I a representation of the youths she loathes? She asked me "Why are you so calm?" at the beginning of our encounter. At first I thought she was talking about our train being 5 minutes late. I responded with "I got here early, so I'm ready for any changes  in my agenda." But both that question AND that answer now have a double meaning after the rant. Now I think she asked that question because I wasn't being a loud rambunctious teenager. Most teens are "last minute" types of people, while I am usually prepared. I think she was shocked by my maturity and willingness to help her. I can name quite a few teens who would have ignored and maybe even ridiculed her...

Another big question. If she hates teen irresponsibility so much, how come SHE was the drunk one? This question led me to the conclusion that her hate did not come from a place of pity, but a place of envy. Maybe she got drunk to try and relive her own glory days and is upset she can't revive them. Maybe she is actually jealous of teen youthfulness. Maybe she just wants to be able to get away with the stuff teens could get away with. Maybe her drinking problem is the manifestation of her own mid-life-crisis!

And lastly, what does this whole situation say about me? I'm not doing any of the dumb things this lady loathes. Does that mean I'm on the right track life-wise? It surely doesn't mean all of the hung-over seniors are on the wrong track, I know that. But am I righter than everybody else for not being a typical teen? I dunno the answer to that. There is just too much grey area to cover... So that's my epic post for today. goodnight.