Ok now I got time.

"Air" by Philter

Imma sittin' here wit ma stir fry, and I'm ready to Rolling Rock on the Rocking Roller! Ok, so I don't know what to post about. So I'll talk about my day. So I spent the day with Motherbot bonding and stuff. and we went to the city and I ate this beautiful salmon. It was one of those perfect days. One of the most reflective as well. So why this song, with inexplicable depth and simple yet mysterious rhythm. Well, I was in NYC with my mother and it hit me. Like a truckfull of reflection and revelation. A truckfull of stuff I'd been thinking about all day. Motherbot triggered it with her remark over lunch "This place is so you, don't you think so?" And Then the flood. I realized that this actually is the last week of high school.

Damn.

But I guess this is how it always ends right? Like a Broadway run of a show or something. You spend so much of your time doing the same routine and then you realize that this is the last week.

Wow.

But then I went to speech and it was the last meeting of the school year and I mooched off of a public event with Minnie Mouse probably for the last time this year. And I encountered Woosh Woman (YES. YOU'RE WOOSH WOMAN.) hanging out in the spot where I've hung out so many times. And I thought, "Enjoy it while it lasts" because sooner or later she'll be in the same area mooching off the same food and in the same spot of the cafeteria looking at an underclassman hanging in her spot. Thinking those exact same words.

Change.

It's happening. And there is no stopping it. I am completely aware of that. I am happy to say I have no regrets. Then, when the meeting actually started Mentor had everyone talk about me not only in front of me but TO me. And that's the stuff that makes me tear up. Because here I am thinking it's another day in the office and WHAM! There is this sudden manifestation of gratitude for stuff that I normally don't even think about. I guess I didn't realize the impact I had on everyone, and I still don't see the full impact. Here are all these underclassmen telling me how I INSPIRED and EMPOWERED them to join the speech team: something that requires extreme time and commitment. I was thinking more modest verbs should be used like "encouraged" but I not the one who determines the intensity of my impact on others. Well, yes I do, I just always underestimate it.

My mom and I had a conversation a while back. It was about light and dark and the connection between all of humanity. She talked about how our individual pursuits bring us all together and about our "life roles" per say. She said that she is a life leader because she is able to unlock the hidden potential in people who may not even believe they have any potential. I think I might have some of that. But there is something else there to. Something that just sticks to people without requiring effort. I don't know what it is but I seem to have a lot of it. I would call it charm, but there is something more to it. Kind of like the taste of you're favorite food. Something you know and love deeply. But it isn't that either. I don't know if I'll ever know. I don't know if I'll ever need to either. So whatever! This moment is the first moment of the rest of my life! So I gotta take the bull by the horns!

Well... That's the theory anyways...