Well. that worked out just dandy.

YEAH.

SORRY.

I'M COULDN'T CHARACTERIZE PEOPLES.

I'M CREATIVE ENOUGH BUT I SIMPLY DIDN'T WANT TO.

sorry boutit.

So I guess I'll just do a quick status report.

Maleficent wants me to take dance classes outside of school. Apparently I'm "gifted"??

I will speak no more.

I mean I've never had formal dance classes before so I guess I'll try it?

I WAS ABLE TO INCLUDE PAPAYAS IN MY ESSAY OUTLINE!!!!

HELL YEAH

AND THE PAPAYA ANALOGY ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT MADE SENSE.

Well, according to Jake from Statefarm it did. (OK. his name was originally Peter Potter or something but it's been too long so I might switch up the names and their ain't nuthin nobody can do about it.)

And Professor Meerkat (NO NOT THE ORIGINAL MR. MEERKAT. PROFESSOR MEERKAT IS EVEN MORE OF A MEERKAT THAN THE ORIGINAL) was all like "papayas?"

I got a new roommate recently. He is the physical embodiment of sass. His faboulousity knows no bounds.

This is just the beginning.

Oh yeah. Skywalker ain't my scene partner no more. But I got a new scene partner. Wickey. So yeah that happened.

Tomorrow's Halloween and I don't have a costume or anything.

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST

If I cared I would have gone through the trouble.

But I'm not going through the trouble. 

I have a show on Friday.

And a show to attend on Saturday.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR HALLOWEEN.

Speaking of shows. 

YEAH SKETCH COMEDY WOOOOOO!

AND YEAH SAILORS!!!

AND YEAH.

So I guess I'll go back to posting about my day everyday.

Yes. That was probably a blatant lie.

YOGI BEAR!

OK. SO MATHEMATICS...

Yogi Master

So why is my math teacher Yogi Bear.

Well he's originally from India. He has a strong accent and his name isn't Yogi. It's super long and Yogi is the abbreviation.

Lol. You thought my professor was a bear didn't you.

No. My professor is smarter than the average bea-

I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY!! (still worth it.)

Yeah. But the class is easy like fried baloney.

He lets us grade our own quizzes.

The class notes have both the questions AND the answers.

And they also tell you exactly how to do everything.

And every test is open book.

there is only one catch...

THE CLASS IS THREE HOURS LONG.

FROM 7:00-10:00 PM

LIKE HOW?

DON'T TRY TO PAY ATTENTION FOR ALL OF CLASS BECAUSE YOU WILL LITERALLY FORGET HOW TO DO MATH BY THE END.

Anyways, Yogi is super cool. He's good at math, he tells jokes, and he gives life lessons as well.

So that's all I have to say about that.

(I'm sorry I'm not using Microsoft Paint enough, that takes time I might not have...)

MALEFICENT!

Ok...

Soo...

My movement teacher...

The MAJESTY

Why did I choose a Disney VILLAIN? 

Why did I choose MALEFICENT.

Well. It's actually more of a compliment than one would think.

Yes really.

You see, Maleficent IS evil. 

Yet that doesn't stop her from brandishing a wealth of awesome mystical knowledge.

She's been doing this for DECADES.

DECADES OF PURE, UNADULTERATED KNOWLEDGE.

I learn sooooo much!

So while I don't necessarily love how she treats the class, she still teaches the class. 

You see, because she is SO knowledgeable and has been doing this for SO long, there is a teeny weenie passive aggressive vibe there. Just a little.

But that isn't a big deal. Like I said it's just a slight thing.

Also this blog is public.

SO YEAH. SHE'S MAGNIFICENT MALEFICENT. 

(sorry. no microsoft paint today. It's spot on.)

CAPTAIN PLANET!

Ok so I figured I might as well start with my professors. So yeah. That's where I'm starting. I'm not starting anywhere else.

indeed.

So imma start with my favorite Professor and that is...

Allow me to explain.

So why is my current BFA Acting teacher Captain Planet?

I dunno. It seems fitting.

He is super clean and super nice but he has zero tolerance for pollution.

Like in class he's all like:

HAAAAAMA! HEEEYUYUYUYUYUU!

So in turn the energy of the room is enhanced by his constant chillness and constant excitement.

However he has no tolerance for pollution. He has a very all or nothing mindset, and he constantly warns us with foreboding emails. HE USES CAPS LOCK AND IT'S REALLY SCARY WHEN COMING FROM A POSITION OF AUTHORITY. 

Me after an email is read

But he does it because he cares a great deal for each and every single one of his students. So I don't mind it so much that he constantly reminds us of the risks because it keeps us going.

Another thing: he REALLY hates vampires.

He wants us to bring as many stakes as possible to every class because vampires are actively trying to take over the world as we know it. He doesn't want the life of our scenes to be drained by these vampires so we constantly have to raise our stakes in self-defense for practice.

He wants us to find our natural selves and bring that energy out when we perform.

WITH OUR POWERS COMBINED WE make theatre happen n stuff...

He loves everything that is natural. Hence he is Captain Planet.

He doesn't like pollution. Hence he is Captain Planet.

He sends scary emails. Hence he is Captain Planet with sass.

He doesn't like vampires. Hence he is Captain Planet with sass and a stake. 

SO THIS IS MY ACTING TEACHER:

Yep. I can do stuffs.

I MISS THIS

SCREW THE MUSIC.

I'M DONE WITH THE MUSIC.

JUST READ.

The hipster music posting must come to an end my friends.

So yeah it's been a month and a day since my last post

AND IT'S BEEN 46 HOURS AND STILL NO CAST LIST.

Faking impatience is my way if being patient.

IT'S BEEN SOOO LONG.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH DIS.

OOOH I HAVE AN IDEA.

I'll provide a cast list with neat character descriptions of all the important PEOPLE of my college life. And if people stumble upon this and are like "HEY DO ME!" Then I'll do them in another post.

Every post will be of a singular cast member in the life of Rtyoyo.

And hey, why limit it to my college life? I might do "Throwback Thursday" character posts too. WHO KNOWS? I DON'T! AND IT'S MY BLOG! LOLZ!

So yeah, I guess that will be the deal. It's fun and easy!

I'll post again shortly after this with my first Cast Member...

UPDATE: I'm casting them as actual fictional characters.

I am sorry I haven't been posting everyday.

"Traffic Light" by The Ting Things

I'm so sorry.

It's hit that time of the year where the river of work starts flowing so I can't really do daily posts anymore...

YOUR HORSES. HOLD THEM PLEASE.

I'm not stopping altogether.

I just can't do it everyday. Especially with all of the college work I'm getting. 

But I'll make sure to keep you posted on stuff when I can capture small moments of freedom like this one.

So here's the sitch

I have a REQUIRED audition coming up!

Yes, REQUIRED!

It's for the students who are doing directing projects. They need actors yo!

I already have my monologue. It's the same that I used for my college auditions but it's cut in half because it has to be less than a minute.

I HAVE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WAY OF PERFORMING IT NOW.

I'M SO PUMPED.

No like.

I'm ready to destroy the universe with the sheer power of my new cut.

The new interpretation along with what I am learning should create the perfect formidable combo!

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So yeah.

See you whenever...

The day after sass was pretty lazy

"Lazy Poltergeist" by The Go! Team

Like I dunno.

I did some cardio.

I did some homework.

I spent all day and night by myself mainly in the lounge because everyone was being totally ridiculous.

So despite my lone rangerness I found something to do.

Three girls accompanied me on a quest to get cookies.

at 2:00 am.

So the city streets were littered with party people.

But Insomnia Cookies are sooooo gooood.

I got the double chocolate mint.

MMMM. MMMM. MMMMMMMMM.

mmmm. mmmm. mmm. mmm. mmmmmmmmmmmm!

So that's what I did.

Because LITERALLY EVERYONE IS HOOKING UP.

This is a small college. Calm your hormones.

This college is so small that I actually know who hooked up before I put the name with the face.

It's so weird.

but that was a good cookie.

CRAZY GAMSIES

"Flowers" by Terra

Yeah.

I went to Community Class.

We played department jeopardy.

The room quickly changed from this:

Happy flowah fun tyme.

To this:

Welcome to Hell.

Ya see.

Father Ireland was in the room with us.

And he was sassing SO HARD.

I was sassing too.

But he was actually like CHEATING.

Like one of his teammates didn't know the answer and he whispered it.

Then she was all like "OH THAT WASN'T CHEATING I CHANGED MY MIND"

I was all like

I thought they were kidding.

Then it turned out they weren't kidding...

I was mad

My piggy bank of sassy exploded

But it's ok because they didn't get away with it.

Damn straight they didn't get away with it.

But freaking Father Ireland was still sassing about the fact that they cheated and it was honestly disgusting. 

Don't take pride in your cheating.

(I don't think he was REALLY trying to legitimize it. BUT STILL he kept going on and on and on...)

Seriously though

And I don't know him well enough to judge his character...

But his sportsmanship skills...

Not exactly top tier...

But there is nothing inherently terrible about that.

I still didn't want him to win

So I made sure his team (Team Twerk) didn't win by winning.

I love winning...

 

So I saw this movie

"Dibidy Dop-Swing Mix" by Club des Belugas

It was titled Drop Dead Gorgeous...

It was one of the most hilarious movies I have EVER seen.

like EVER.

It's about beauty pageants.

The plot twists happen unbelievably fast.

And there is just so much going on that you just can't handle.

When you think the movie ends... It doesn't.

And when it ends you don't see it coming.

Like.

It was surreal.

It was AWESOME. Like probably my favorite comedy.

But I was sitting there next to Popcorn and we were just like.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

But the randomness didn't ruin the plot. In fact it made the movie that much more awesome.

But oh my lord.

There were SO MANY CRAZY BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENTS.

I'm still recovering...

But that movie was damn near perfect though.

Like it's humor was so incredibly dark. And light. but lots of really REALLY DARK.

It was so damn funny.

Another yesterday happened

"The Bird That You Can't See" by The Apples in Stereo

sigh yesterday...

Stuff went down. But I won't go into detail.

So instead I want to talk about a prospective fanfiction.

Nobody steal this idea

Actually I have so much homework it probably won't happen.

So somebody do it.

PLEASE.

PIIIIICTURE THIS!

meets

What if the Dragon Scale were actually like the Dr. Who phone booth.

But because Emmie and Max were so young they could only go to Dragon Land.

Now they are older.

AND SO ARE THE DRAGONS

is now

And yes the dragons are more aggressive but they don't know why.

So they use the dragon scale to traverse the multiverse trying to get the power needed to save their friends. 

They try collecting the Dragonballs. 

Freaking Difficult

They try gathering the Chaos Emeralds.

Also difficult

They learn that the transformation of their friends was caused by magic of some kind.

And that their dragon friends are being used in the Triwizard tournament.

So they infiltrate Hogwarts with the Dragon Scale and the investigation continues from there...

Damn.

SOMEBODY DO THIS.

PLEASE.

I AIN'T GOT THE TIME.

Soooing needle...

"Boom Boom Pow-Speedogang Mix"

It was the usual boom boom pow.

Nothing extraordinary happened.

BUT I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT AN EXTRODINARY DAILY OCCURRENCE.

So Daria and Peter Potter pioneered a new religion.

"Enlighten Me"

You see. They are TRASKOVIANS.

And their deity is the Goddess Heather Traska.

I sense your skepticism

Is it because the deity's a woman? Of course she is a woman. IT'S DARIA'S RELIGION.

Or is it because you don't know if there are any rules to be converted and to worship.

Let me break it down for you

Ok there are three degrees of Traska worship.

Part one: Conversion

dis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8ZJrfeohzU

and dis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXlM9gP1jhM

Now you're converted.

Part two: Going to Traskan Temple

Watch those everyday. That is the equivalent of going to the religious worship place. 

Part three: Prayer

Re-enact it.

Daily.

As melodramatically as possible.

(This step is for the incredibly devout Traskovian. Daria and Peter Potter are incredibly devout. They say their daily prayers.)

Me personally. I've been converted. But I don't go to Traskan Temple or say the Traskan prayers. So I'm a casually religious Traskovian. 

PS: If you want to achieve Priest status put the conversion medlies on your MP3 mobile device. Peter Potter did this and has achieved Priest status AND YOU CAN TOO if you so choose.

I felt I have done my religious duty.

Elder Rtyoyo: OUT!