I woke up this morning. The End. BRUHAHA. Just foolin'. I woke up and started getting ready for the edimacational facilitation (you know, that place that turns your brain into cheese.) and I was jolly. FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. So I had my JOLLY! shower. I JOLLY! brushed my teeth. I ate my JOLLY! Reese's Puffs. In fact I was so inherently JOLLY! That I began to sing and dance in the kitchen. And I had a JOLLY! Good Time until it was interrupted by Po Po's voice.
"I HEARD YOU"
"...you did?"
"You have a nice singing voice. It's only that I was trying to sleep and..."
"Well you can go back to bed now! I'll stop."
Then he up and went and got ready for school anyways. It was 6:15 in the morning and this child who attends an elementary school. Was getting ready. Now I REALLY felt the guilt. My arbitrary happiness prevented a child from getting a good night's sleep! (This reminds me of another situation that happened yesterday. Guardian caught me singing to the food in the refrigerator. It was pretty funny. But very embarrassing. I mean, how would you feel if you were in my house and I caught you singing to my sauerkraut?) I kept trying to urge him to get some sleep but NO! he was determined to be prepared for school 2 HOURS EARLY. He was putting his shoes on. HIS SHOES. I couldn't fathom it at all!!! If I had an extra two hours of beautiful rest I would take it faster than you could say "Singing Cauliflower!"
ANYWAAAAYS. Another thing happened. During eating time at the edification facility I sit with an interesting cast of characters. There is Crazy whom we all know, is utterly crazy. Then there is Panini whom we all know, is spaztic very frequently. Jenny Craig, whom we all know is usually perplexed by Crazy's actions (and gasp! Even some of my actions!) Then we have some new pseudonyms to introduce so here we gooo!!! So we have Dr. Turkey Fist. Whenever I look at him I think of a violent turkey trying to fight off the hobos who are trying to eat him for Thanksgiving and doing it successfully. Next we have Koreawoman. She claims to be Vietnamese but she is a liar. How do I know? A Vietnamese woman with a Hello Kitty lunchbox? Puh! That don't pay no bills! Now KOREANS. THEY BE ALL UP IN DAT HELLO KITTY! There is also Turtle Stew. She quietly eats her turtle stew. And finally there's an Alpaca. I don't know her.
Now that you have a cast of characters let's explain the situation here... Crazy always brings a gavel to lunch. I don't know why. She's crazy. She calls it a drinking device. How somebody could possibly drink out of a gavel I don't know. She's crazy. She never uses it either. WHY BRING A GAVEL IF YOU WON'T UUUSEEE IT?!?!?!?!? So I feel it is my duty to use it FOR her. So I take her gavel and repeatedly bang it on the table whilst screaming "ORDER IN THE COURT!!! OR. DUR. IN. DA. COUUUURT!!!!!!!" As you could probably imagine... This caused quite the ruckus... Everybody was all like "STOOOP IT'LL SPIIILL!" (Crazyness must be contagious or something)... So out of PURE AND RAW FURY! Jenny Craig SNATCHED the gavel from me! And a freaky voodoo illusion was cast on me. Probably by Dr. Turkey Fist because he thinks I'm a hobo... It was very convincing though. The gavel spilled an edible liquid across my face. This shocked EVERYONE (except Dr. Turkey Fist. He's too cunning to feel "shock"). But again. Gavels don't contain liquid as far as I'm concerned. I vow to get vengeance on Dr. Turkey Fist for his deceptive trick. Or my name isn't Carolina Joe!!! (AND IT'S NAWT!!!)
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