IKEA.

Guess where I went today... Crap. It's the title. So much for the "big reveal". The thing is... This "IKEA" place. WAS. ABSOLUTELY. ASTONISHINGLY. BIG. Now I'm not talking Batman big. I'm not talking Godzilla big. No. I'm talking Lassie's My Fair Lady Loves Lucy Extravaganza big. I was dazed the whole time. Like an elderly person who is running low on prune juices. There were SO MANY PEOPLE. You don't understand. It was like the density of the sun combined with the density of Charlie Sheen's ego. Every time I turned around I saw some new face speaking some different language. I heard French, Chinese, Korean, Russian, and Spanish AT THE SAME TIME. This gave me a headache. (Insert vivid adjective here. My headache gets worst when I think about it...) It also had a food court. LET ME REPEAT THAT. It also. Had. A FOOD. COURT. Oh, all this desk shopping has got my stomach really going! Honey, we should take a break and have lunch. WHAT?!?! It needs a food court?! Really?! Shopping for desks should take as little time as possible!!! They are desks. And cabinets. It shouldn't require a sacrifice of your mullah to the IKEA cafeteria. Sigh. American consumerism. Gotta see it to believe it. But I guess it doesn't matter all that much. The sheer population density of the IKEA facility I went to is most indefinitely going to destroy the building. I could swear the ground was shaking on the upper levels. My mom felt it shaking too. Good thing we got out of there before its indefinite collapse in the near future.