Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Bean is a baby female Tyrannosaurus Rex

Little Bean has become a violent little thing. IT'S SCARY.  She still has that hyper-adorability-super-drive in her. But SHE tells YOU whether being cute is in the question or not. (I don't know what the "question" is. WAIT. YES I DO. "To be cute, or not to be cute" that is the question. OH YEAH. Bonus points for me!)  Now if she wants something she will let you know by hitting you. Cold Heartedly and Mercilessly. Does she have no shame? None at all. SHE'S A BABY. So one night, Bean was with a cousin (let's call him Racecar) and while in his presence, Bean would randomly attack him for no reason whatsoever. Racecar would be walking around minding his own buisness then WHAM! One big shmakaroony TO THE FACE!!!! It's a good thing Racecar is resistant to pain. (no really he his. It's like a super power or something. He could be thrown our of a window of a La Quinta in hotel, fall several stories, GET UP. And keep running. And he doesn't need REM behavior disorder to do it! He must have diamond skin or something!) But Bean had a blast Kung-Fu kicking, gut-punching, and curb-stomping poor little Racecar. (again he can survive anything so it wasn't much of an issue.) IT TURNS INTO AN ISSUE WHEN SHE STARTS BEATING UP WHINEY. (Whiny is a tyrant as well, but it's more passive agressive and Whiney is more fragile and vulnerable than Pinnochio at a bonfire...) So she attacks Whiney and Whiney does what she does best and this causes a huge ruckus in the household. Bean also throws temper tantrums now. (they are not Whiney's "I'm gonna lay on the floor and pretend like there is a beehive inbetween my buttocks" tantrums they are more like "I'm gonna SCREAM A SONIC BOOM and STOMP AN EARTHQUAKE and SCRATCH LIKE A WOLVERINE!) A word of advice when taking care of Bean would be: Tyrannosaurus Rex. Tyranno-tyrant; THIS IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. Saurus-lizard; SHE'S COLD BLOODED. Rex-King; well more like queen in this case-it doesn't matter what YOU want. Bean's word is LAW in this monarchy! Even if she can't speak yet.

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