Escape! DAY 1.

SOOOO. Muuuuuch. Happened. I haven't blogged. WAGAGAGAGZGAGAGAHAGAG. Well. I guess it's time to catch you up in one SUPER EPIC POST. I'll try not to let it happen again. Mmmmmmmkay? So. I finally got a chance to leave the wasteland of suburban Illinois to visit my beefcakes in NY. There was a SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH pool party. Whoop whoop WHOOP! But there was a teeeeeny tiiiiiny teeeeeeeeeeeeeeny tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny teeeeeeeeeeeeeee(WE GET IT!) ok. Teeeeeeeeny liiiiiiiiiiitle problaemo. Who was I going to stay with during this escapade? *finger snap!* I KNOW... THE BEARS. Yep. You know who I'm talking about. The family of secret agents! But you didn't hear it from me! So yeah. I feld quite safe under the keen eye of James Bondbear. I spent most of my time chilling with Garbear. (you see he has this top secret mission investigating a meth lab run by Colonel Sanders in the basement of the Burlington Coat Factory. So I had to make sure to see him off safely. I also assisted in helping him study for his mission. We watched a movie about this chocolate maker with daddy issues who plans the assassination of five children in order to protect his product. He let the fifth one live because that kid solved his daddy issues. But still. This choco-MOB-BOSS was willing to KILL. CHILDREN. And chocolate is legal. I can't imagine what lengths a drug dealer would go... Or. Maybe I can. We also studied by watching a television show exactly matching the description of Garbear's special assignment. But we didn't do that until after the SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH PAAAAAAAARTYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. I is excited! It was a pool party!!! But then the sky got a booboo and started crying. And nobody likes sky-tears. Grrr. That sky is such a sissy! Well even if the pool was soiled by the sky tears, we still had a dandelion fun time! Speech is gonna be eeeeepiiic! We have these little foot soldiers who are going to DECLARE some new territory. (so many pseudonyms for the future! Yay!) Broadway is going to BLIND the competition with her pieces. My piece is gonna BURN. The Critic will be SWINGING away like usual. And Sanswag is gonna KICK. BUTT!!! It kinda feels like being in an army-I GOT IT! "THE SELLER'S GUILD!" That has a nice ring to it. Garbear's mission will have him very tied down. He won't be around the lead THE SELLER'S GUILD! So I guess I have to be a substitute for a while. I shall attempt to lead THE SELLER'S GUILD! with proper gusto to brighter speechified sunsets. I will also have guidance from the Almighty Seller herself. So it should be a promising year. DAY 2. coming soon. To blogs near you.