New Newness

Well kiddies, I have officially been separated from my immediate family. I mean, It's not THAT dramatic though. I visit on holidays and stuff like that. I'm officially considered an elderly man of the education facility so that means this year will be a combination of a bunch of new creations of newly renewed NEWNESS! There will be: New Pseudonyms! (Gardenian, and her two children Pip Pip and Po Po...) New Cheezy Doritos!!! (YES! Now I have successfully enticed the audience into continually reading in order to get their chance at nabbing some AWESOME CHEEZY DORITOS!!Unfortunately for them, their efforts will inevitably futile!!!!!!) *Insert awkwardly orchestrated evil murmur of disturbing and vague laughter.* So now that I have your attention! LET US RAMBLE.

So I guess I will go further into detail about my current living arrangements. Gardenian is my official guardian so that means I'm living with her and her two sons (Pip Pip and Po Po) this year. Po Po, the older one, is a jolly little cauliflower who has an INSANE sense of humor. IN. SANE. Occasionally he will hit a funny bone and get me to laugh for a good twenty minutes. (That is actually very impressive. Usually when I laugh it's the fakest sound on the planet. Yes. Even more fake than Disney Channel. This is because getting me to laugh is like trying to tame your oxen to play dead when the health inspector comes around: IT AIN'T HAPPENING.) While Po Po's comedic talents are strong, he has a tendency to go into looooooooooooooooooong tangents that test the patience of even the most powerful minds at their worst. I'm currently teaching him how to spot a cheater when playing cards. Here is how it goes: I cheat. I tell him what he didn't notice after the fact. HE GOES CRAZY. It's quite a fascinating series of events...
"SEEE? I was actually holding THREE extra cards!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?!? YOU CHEATER MCCHEATY CHEATER!!!"
"Hey. Name-calling isn't nice! Besides. It's not cheating if I tell you I'm cheating."
"WHAT KIND OF DUMB RULE IS THAT!!!!"
"The rule of THUMB! (steals card using thumb) My good man!"
"GEEEEEZ LOUEEEEZEE!!!!! Stop it already!"

The younger one. Pip Pip, is an interesting little fellow. Oxygen is like steroids to him. It gives him all sorts of extra energy that would drive GRAVITY up the wall. He is kinda like Elphaba's flying monkeys... Not the genetically challenged bit: but the follower bit. He is too young to quite understand the humor of Po Po. And he usually attempts to copy Po Po's jokes WORD FOR WORD. (Normally I would say that's a bad thing but hey, HE'S COPYING FROM THE BEST.) He struggles with delivery though. He is not quite old enough to understand the timing of delivery. But once he matures, understands how to work a room, and gets his own jokes, he will surely be a riot!

OH YES! I HAVE TO INCLUDE HIM! OKAY. So there is this kid. I only experienced his presence for one day BUT STILL. hmmmmm... let's call him... RANDY RADCLIFFE. Pip Pip, Po Po and I visited his house one day. He is the most adorably enchanting little British Boy on the planet. This is the part where I use italics because they enrich the page just as this single boy has enriched my faith in humanity.
ENRICHED POINT #1: He knows magic up the wazoo! And he has made quite the dainty dollar amazing audiences everywhere.
ENRICHED POINT #2: HE'S BRITISH. I know the italics already establish this point but you don't understand so let me reiterate... HE'S BRITISH.
ENRICHED POINT #3: HE MAKES HOMEMADE ICE CREAM. NOTHING BEATS THAT. NOTHING!!

So yeah and finally there is Mr. Cool. A negro gentleman who's multiple coolnessess don't really need explaination. And that concludes my post. From the newly renewed world of newness this is Rtyoyo, signing out.