A request from my wife!

This post is the sequel to the Ficklefry post. Why am I making a SEQUEL?!?! Read the title. Done yet? Ok. good. Yes, my wife Broadway (What? You haven't heard? WE GOT MARRIED!! YAY!) requested that I continue the Ficklefry post. NO, not the voice cracking part, (DEAR GOD NO, NOT THE VOICE CRACKING PART!) but the choral analysis part. (Oh. ok!) So I covered the Bass and Tenor traits in Ficklefry, but (like many many men still do...) I forgot all about the females! They are just as important to the choralic effort!! So here we go! Sopranos and Altos!

So as I said before the Basses are the fried chicken and the tenors are the celery of the food-based chorus. Sopranos... Well... Sopranos represent the pineapple of the operation. How so? Well, they always get the melody which is easily EASILY recognizable. (Someone could easily mistake an apple for a tomato. But the closest vegetable that I have seen compared to a pineapple is asparagus. YEAH. NOT EVEN CLOSE.) They are also the easiest to see. (When you're walking down the fruitalishious section of Shop-Somewhat-Incorrectly, You'll know where those pineapples be at! Pineapples are to fruit what porcupines are to mammals. ToTaLlY uNiQuE!@#!) I know a pineapple-erm. I mean, SOPRANO when I see one!

The altos would be the haardstoet bread in the mixture. YES. IT EXISTS. The altos provide a great addition to the choir meal. While I am almost positive no American would even be aware of the existence of haardstoet bread AT ALL. And they probably will live their whole lifetime still unaware that haardstoet bread exists... I know that the bread is vital to the meal. Without the bread, we would all turn into cavemen, who fall off cliffs and get eaten by LIONSANDTIGERANDBEARSOHMY! And I'm sorry, but we only have room on this planet for one Garbear. Too many Garbears and the awesomeness would cause a rip in the space time continuum. So that is what altos are: they are the bread that keeps the world in balance: even when nobody pays attention. SO!! That sums up my analysis. Good day, good tidings, good banana, nevermind, that made no sense. (ACTUALLY. I think it did. BUT I'M CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY! SO YOU ARE PROBABLY RIGHT!!)