Mermaids, Papayas, and a Good Afternoon Cupcake.

Wouldn't that make a great book title? I would SO buy that book! It's like perfect because it makes one wonder: "How does this all tie together into one coherent organized story?" Then I would buy the book and be all like: WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE?! But it would be too late to return it because I had already fed the receipt to my chinchilla! NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH THIS STUPID BOOK?!?!?!? grrr... I have an idea! How about I try and donate it to the public library! Crud. It's banned. How come? GENERAL STUPIDITY?!?! I agree. But I'm still stuck with the book so how am I gonna resolve this huh?!?! Can I speak to the man who got this book banned?

Me: O.e SO IT'S YEEEEW.
Critic: Yes, Rtyoyo. What do you want.
Me: I want you to un-ban THIS BOOK!
Critic: What THAT?!? That's terrible. *sigh* you would support something as ridiculous as that abhorring Bag o' Richards!
Me: I hate it too
Critic: Then WHY I ask, WHY do you want me to un-ban it?! You are being completely illogical.
Me: So I can give it to the library for profit.
Critic: Why don't we just burn it.
Me: Well, that is unreasonable and I don't want to offend the auth--
Critic: SCREW THE AUTHOR! You know I should sue him. His horrendous book made my eyes bleed.
Me: But your eyes look fi--
Critic: DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE BLEEDING EYEZ!
Me: Well, no--
Critic: I DIDN'T THINK SO. Now, lets BURN it. This book needs to feel the pain I have felt for so long!
Me: But--
Critic: YOLO.
Me: Critic, YOLO isn't applicab--
Critic: Elephants are purple.
Me: O.O I am completely convinced. Let's burn the book.
Critic: Hey! I found the spot lets go!
Me: But I'm not a Baptist. AND YOU'RE JEWISH!
Critic: Elephants are purple.
Me: Good point. Let's go.

WWEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIIIIIYAAAAAAAH!!!

Some people were late to the real burning. THEY DIED. Good thing we went to the actual thing!


You know, some say book burning is horrible. Yes, it is. It is insulting to the author, and the books that have been burned were mainly timeless classics. HOWEVER! Book burning is completely OK if the book is imaginary and it is literally the worst book on the planet. As Critic said, this thing was PHYSICALLY PAINFUL to read. So it's all good in the end.