I have a vision...

OK. I know what you're thinking: WHY? Well I'll tell you in a poem titled Father Knows Best:

If Vader were president, we would have freedom.

freedom to explore different worlds 

filled with different people

and together we will share and love and be happy.

If Vader were president, we would have jobs.

by jobs I mean occupations

no empty promises

no cutting budgets

no need to work overtime

no need to work overtime because taxes are over due

no need to worry

we are storm troopers.

If Vader were president, we would have Peace

Peace of mind

because we never have to aim at the protagonists

and shoot them down 

because they were Kings

because they were Kennedys

If Vader were president, there would be no

campaign promises

awkward not-kisses

fear of situations vicious

If Vader were president, everyone would be safe

from criticism

from losses

from bombs

from deception...

from planes.

If Vader were president, it would be out of this world!

much larger actually.

If Vader were president, we would be untouchable

like a star in the sky.

If Vader were president. 

Our self-loathing.

Our self-image.

Our self-sacrifice.

Would be acknowledged

Because he has experienced it all

Mermaids, Papayas, and a Good Afternoon Cupcake.

Wouldn't that make a great book title? I would SO buy that book! It's like perfect because it makes one wonder: "How does this all tie together into one coherent organized story?" Then I would buy the book and be all like: WHAT IS THIS GARBAGE?! But it would be too late to return it because I had already fed the receipt to my chinchilla! NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH THIS STUPID BOOK?!?!?!? grrr... I have an idea! How about I try and donate it to the public library! Crud. It's banned. How come? GENERAL STUPIDITY?!?! I agree. But I'm still stuck with the book so how am I gonna resolve this huh?!?! Can I speak to the man who got this book banned?

Me: O.e SO IT'S YEEEEW.
Critic: Yes, Rtyoyo. What do you want.
Me: I want you to un-ban THIS BOOK!
Critic: What THAT?!? That's terrible. *sigh* you would support something as ridiculous as that abhorring Bag o' Richards!
Me: I hate it too
Critic: Then WHY I ask, WHY do you want me to un-ban it?! You are being completely illogical.
Me: So I can give it to the library for profit.
Critic: Why don't we just burn it.
Me: Well, that is unreasonable and I don't want to offend the auth--
Critic: SCREW THE AUTHOR! You know I should sue him. His horrendous book made my eyes bleed.
Me: But your eyes look fi--
Critic: DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO HAVE BLEEDING EYEZ!
Me: Well, no--
Critic: I DIDN'T THINK SO. Now, lets BURN it. This book needs to feel the pain I have felt for so long!
Me: But--
Critic: YOLO.
Me: Critic, YOLO isn't applicab--
Critic: Elephants are purple.
Me: O.O I am completely convinced. Let's burn the book.
Critic: Hey! I found the spot lets go!
Me: But I'm not a Baptist. AND YOU'RE JEWISH!
Critic: Elephants are purple.
Me: Good point. Let's go.

WWEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIIIIIYAAAAAAAH!!!

Some people were late to the real burning. THEY DIED. Good thing we went to the actual thing!


You know, some say book burning is horrible. Yes, it is. It is insulting to the author, and the books that have been burned were mainly timeless classics. HOWEVER! Book burning is completely OK if the book is imaginary and it is literally the worst book on the planet. As Critic said, this thing was PHYSICALLY PAINFUL to read. So it's all good in the end.

Snoop the Thundercat.

OK. So I'm currently listening to Snoop the Thundercat. You know, dropping things as if they were maximum heat capacity. What shall I discuss today? Hmmm. How about spirit week!!!!!

Nothing is ever quite as exciting as a full week of limited clothing options. Yesterday was "Pajama Day" Apparently, we all wear gym pants and converses in our sleep. If not, then we all must obviously wear fully body fluff suits with dinosaur slippers to bed. Yeah, very believable. You see, I have every right to be cynical about pajama day because I didn't even know it was spirit week until the day of!! Normally, I am aware of this but I feel I should blame the school for not being as forceful as usual. (Actually, it is totally and utterly my fault I didn't remember it was spirit week. But that can be our lil' secret.) YEAH! What an insanely irresponsible school district *wink*

I just thought of a better topic. So YESTERDAY we had REHEARSAL. When we rehearse, all goes smoothly at first. But each rehearsal lasts 3 hours. After the first hour we are all delirious. The auditorium becomes a surreal wasteland where the rabbits are all rolling in the mud, and the cheese cake. Ballon animals playing cards. Baseball bat. HOW MANY? Oh, elephants are purple it's ok. And the Jehova Witness is knitting a sweater. What you are feeling right now is only a fraction of the confusion that settles in during a rehearsal.

So we are doing the final scene and my coworker, Jub Jub got the excellent idea of jumping into my arms out of fear while Critic goes into a homicidal turtle-with-a-machine-gun tirade. I was told that when Jub-Jub finishes placing all the blame on me I should drop him. But I was told in the most DIRECT way possible. Schnorielli just looked at me with their usual commanding director eyes and said "drop him." So I did. In the most DIRECT way possible. Jub-Jub wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting it. Jub-Jub had to use his spidey sense in order to keep from severe (POSSIBLY LETHAL!!!) injury. Then, Schnorielli had the AUDACITY, to blame this on my ears. They claimed that they said "Kinda" drop him. Umm... no. They are "Kinda" wrong. If they said that then how come I couldn't hear it. Schnorielli is constantly going on about projection on the stage. Well, how about they set an EXAMPLE for those who have trouble projecting as opposed to giving vague orders that are open to interpretation! Fortunately, Jub-Jub is not dead. Next time Schnorielli should be more careful when giving orders.

BOO DADADADADADADA

BOO DADADADADADADA BOO DADADA BOO DADADA BOO DA BOO DA BOO DA BO DA! I am crazier than usual today. That's REAAAAALY saying something. I've had these... these SONGS trapped in my head like little baby blue birds in a cage. They just keep chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping and chirping! (WOW. I'll get to that little tirade in the next paragraph.) I feel like Snow Flipping White!! I can totally and utterly sympathize her unconscious need to sing with those baby blue birds! SERIOUSLY!!! She'll be all like "LALALALALLALALALAALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
And I'll be all like
"I don't need no Tee Veee! I don't need no news! All I need is a bumpee beat! To bump away my bloo-oo-ooooooooees!!!!"
And she'll hear my birds, and she'll be all like
"I feel you ma soul brotha!"
And then we will sing in a epic duet! Both of our birds colliding in a massive supernova of AWEESOME!!!!!!
"I don't need no Tee (LA LALA LA LAAA!!) Veee! I don't need no news!(LA LALA LA LAAA!!) (LA!)All I need is a bum(LA!)pee beat! To (LA!)bump away(LA!) my (LALALALALALALALA!!)bloo-oo-ooooooooees!!!!"
Now wouldn't that just be GRAND. A jazzy duet with Snow White. I'll put that on my bucket list.

OK! So, the chirpingchirpingchirpingchirpingchirpingchirpingchirpingchirping thing. I was doing my do, typing my blog like nobody's buisness. Then I noticed the way I typed the word chirpingchirping. IT WAS RYTHMIC. AN OPPORTUNITY!!!! This couldn't wait. I love the way I type chirpingchirpingchirping! It's SOOOO RYTHMIC. Like, rhymic to the point of pure addiction. Chirpingchirpingchirpingchirping is THE BEST RYTHMIC WORD IN THE UNIVERSE OF TYPING. You should try it. Do the chi fast then do the rping at a slower tempo. IT'S SO ADDICTIVE.

"Hey Rtyoyo, the bell rung"
"GO AWAY. I'M CHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPING!!!"
"Hey Rtyoyo, It's time for lunch"
"OK, but only when I'm finished CHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPING!"
"I'm getting worried, you haven't eaten in three days"
"I'm fine I'm fine! CHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPINGCHIRPING provides enough nourishment to last two and a half infinities"

The problem here is: That's an honest fact.