I would have posted yesterday...

But I spent two hours trying to find the right song for this post... Luckily I did. However, I wanted to sleep...


"Queens Are Never Wrong" by The Backyardigans

So my mom was the queen because it was her birthday. Well, no, not BECAUSE it was her birthday. She is always the queen. But she was even more so today because it was her birthday.

She does a pretty good job most of the time

You see, every year I would always forget when her birthday was coming up. But this time I actually got her something. Sure she reminded me the week of but hey, at least I remembered to get one! Dad usually goes out and gets EVERYTHING. Then I just play along "Yeah... that's from me..."

Don't you LOOOVE the present I GOT YOU?!?!?

But not this time! You want to know what I got her? I GOT HER THIIIIIIS!!!

ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?

See, I got a triple home run because

A) I actually got her something

B) It wasn't a gift card

C) It was a CHOCOLATE BOUQUET. And yes. It looks just like the picture.

So when dad came home instead of having a plethora of balloons, he had one BIG balloon. Bean went crazy.

Oh no.

Then she would share her excitement with the rest of the world. LITERALLY.

Bean: RTYOYO!!

Me: Yes

Bean: THE BALLOON!!!

Me: Yes. It is big and pretty cool actually.

Bean: RTYOYO!!

Me: Yes Bean?

Bean: THE BALLOON!!!

Me: Yes, I think we can all agree that it is big.

Bean: RTYOYO!!

*silence*

Bean: (louder) RTYOYO!!

*silence*

Bean: (Sanity piercingly loud) RTYOYO!!!!!!

Me: ...Yes?

Bean: THE BALLOON!!!

Me:

You should go tell your sister about the balloon...

Bean: WHINEY!!

Me:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

That action, while it was evil, needed  to be taken for my sanity to stay intact.

Ok. so we already have a plethora of leftover sugary sweets from Whiney's birthday party. Now we have ice cream, hot chocolate, chocolate cake, the Reese's bouquet, and ice pops! Like, I am in heaven right now!

Happy Birthday indeed.

I have cavities to produce so goodbye for now!

PICKITUPPICKITUPPICKITUPPICKITUP!

"Pick It Up" by GOGO13, Alex Desert

Why this song. Well I had a very "pick it up" day. I honestly thought it would be more babysitting BUT NO. So why the clean up song. Well, it has a double meaning actually. There is Bean who is just insane when I babysit. And then there is my anecdotal story.

SO. I'm in the basement playing my PS3 with my sisters.

weeeeeeeeeee

Then my mom calls the house phone. I answer...

Her birthday is tomorrow. I have to flatter.

"TAKE THE HAMMOCK AND ALL OF THE TOYS OUTSIDE INTO THE GARAGE. THERE MIGHT BE A TORNADO COMING."

um. ok.

So I go upstairs. You see, this was a HUGE shock because my basement is like in a separate dimension than the rest of the comprehensible universe. So I go upstairs and I look outside and I hear the thunder and I'm all like

DEAR GOD.

So I put on a coat and some socks and some sneakers and I WEATHER THE WEATHER!

Meh.

And I was putting stuff in the garage and putting stuff in my Mancaveimeanbasement. In case of a TORNADO. Something I've never prepared for before IN MY LIFE.

HOLY MOLEY!

But I don't think It's happening today, I don't hear any thunder anymore. WAIT but that means... I HAVE TO MOVE EVERYTHING BACK! NOOOOOOOOO!!!

IT'S MADNESS I TELL YA!

Tomorrow's Motherbot's birthday. So there will definitely be an interesting series of events. Even more interesting than a tornado threat.  

Today was yet another babysitting day...

Heh, and yallready know how that goes... So this will be a Wikipedia post! I clicked "random article" and I HAVE GOT  SO MUCH TO TELL YOU ABOUT MEN NAMED...


"Good Luck" by the SoCal VoCals

(This seems like a good drum roll song... It's also sassy and acapella and I just like it. :3)

...Billy McKinney.

OKAY! So let's start with the basketball player, Billy McKinney.

Ok. So his real name was William Melvin McKinney III...

indeed.

He was born in Bakugan, Illinois.

So I guess this was his childhood?

He was borderline tall (he has six feet. eww.) and he played as a guard.

Billy: Keeper of the Ball

He played around in high school. Then he ended up going to Northwestern University. He got a degree in education. I know what you're thinking.

EDUCATION?! 

But no he went all NBA and stuff he played for:

Kings

Free Form Jazz

Chicken McNuggets

Nail Clippers

And Cattle.

Then he started doing business things, you know like running things.

Tax Exemption!

He also did some radio stuff. Now he is scouting for deer...

So yeah. Here is the plan. Instead of telling you about the other Billy, I'll type that post in secret, and save it for a boredy day. mmmkay? And that will be part two. See, it's also the perfect marketing technique. If I don't need to post part two until muuch muuuuuuch later, then it forces people to dig through my other posts to find part one! and the more they see the better!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

MUAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Babysitting Bean

"Run [I'm a Natural Disaster]" by Gnarls Barkley

Ok, so I'm babysitting Bean. She is officially a natural disaster. We have sooooo many precautions against her. This goes beyond outlet blockers people. We have these durable locks on the refrigerator and other cabinets. We have covers for the doorknobs into the pantry and garage. We even have the dining room chairs tied together because she likes to throw them around. It's like she's immune to fear or something... She PLAYS WITH the little spiders and beetles she finds around the house. SHE. PLAYS. WITH. THEM. And she is always trying to do something dangerous! I can't take my eyes off of her for too long, or else she'll be climbing the opposite side of the stairs. You know that perimeter area that people don't walk on. THAT PART.

She puts on this illusion of innocence and reliability that makes you want to just leave her be.

Okay. I trust you.

And you leave her alone for five minutes in a clean looking room while you are on your bathroom break.

ok. fine.

And you come back to THIS.

HOOOOOW?

And I look at Bean and she's all like

-_-

And I'm all like

Thank you. So much. It means a lot. -______-

And then of course my parents say it's my fault for needing to clear my bladder so I have to clean it up.

WHY ME?!?!

But I've gotten used to all of the shenanigans. Bean also has her benefits. She is a very animated girl and you can't help but smile when you see her so I don't mind cleaning up her messes that much. But still. Our relationship is kinda like this.

not amused.

I mean, at least she's fun when she's not getting in trouble... And it amazes me how much trouble she gets in, even when the house is like...

SUPER FORTRESS.

Do you want to know what I've been doing all day?

"Fly Away" by ChiyoTa

Well, I chose this song because I have and unusual amount of freedom today. I quite literally did absolutely nothing productive. Let me give you a visual of my day...



Yes. I was playing the game depicted in the gif for a straight 5 hours. I know it seems crazy, but the variety of characters and fighting styles keeps me amused for ridiculous amounts of time. Another fact is that there are new things to discover with every character. Also, I want to sell out every item. Every character has around a hundred customizable items. There are about 50 characters. It takes time people. But the gameplay is so fun that I love taking my time. So that's what I did today... I wish I could provide a better topic... YOU KNOW WHAT? I CAN PROVIDE A BETTER TOPIC! Just wait and see!

Ok, I'm gonna try something new! I'm going to go to Wikipedia and read a random article. Then, I will summarize the information in this article to YOU. Ok? Sooooo READYSETGO!

There is a Spanish guy named Rafael Berges. He plays football.

WRONG! HE'S SPANISH SILLY!!

Yeah. The football involving feet.

He played as left defender... I guess that means he's a liberal?

Yay! Soccer freedom!

He started by playing in kiddie pools of soccer leagues.

Ahh, humble beginnings...

He played a lot. Like over 200 games. Then he helped Spain win the 1992 Summer Olympics in soccer.

KIDDIE POOL NO MORE!

But then he got hurt.

Yeah...

Sooooo now he spends his time as a coach! You go Rafael! Live the dream!

I prepared this post for today!

"On The Train" by Basement Jaxx

Ok. So I was at the train station this morning. Which one? Courtlandt. I hate that station so much now. Why? Well, I used to be moderately ok with it. Until one day... I looked upwards.

39I04I2IR934RKFDLOER';[;RPE-FL3R[E!!!

No seriously. Don't look up. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. Just don't look up and you'll be ok. (I am tall so I have to make sure I don't walk into a web face first. Your "up" is my "neutral", so I have to be careful at the Courtlandt station also, they are NEVER on the ground so just don't look up.)

You know what we should do? Change the topic as quickly as possible. K?

So, I was waiting for the train and a stranger interacted with me. This woman was in her fifties and she usually drove everywhere so she had questions as to how to get back to Yonkers. I gave her exact and precise directions. I even pointed to the exact locations on the WHOLE HUDSON LINE TRAIN SCHEDULE telling her EXACTLY what needs to be done. She still seemed confused.

Soooooo, what you'ree sayiiing issss???

And the next time I tried to explain it AGAIN. She was blindsided by the flowers on the side of the train tracks.

Umm... HELLOOOOOO???

Then she told me she went through two bottles of whiskey this morning.

THAT EXPLAINS IT.

I thought she was just confused by the confusingness that is the MTA but no. She was drunk. I still helped her as best I could and I learned more too while trying to help this lady understand how to get to Yonkers. Like the fact that she had been attending AA and goofed up this morning.

PLOT. TWIST.

And then she talked about how drunk she was and how horrible she felt and how embarrassing this situation was for her. Then I felt the sympathy sadness.

Dammit.

Then, the guy sitting on the other end (he also tried to help her for a little bit.) He said he knows how she feels because he attends NA and he's goofed up before too.

DOUBLE PLOT TWIST?!?!?

Then the train arrived and we got on and she tried to ask the conductor what TRACK the train she needed would be on after arriving at Croton-Harmon for the transfer to Yonkers. This after I specifically told her the conductor wouldn't know the answer... She then went on to a rant about "kids these days" and got mad at the conductor for not knowing the track number when they are chosen at random everyday at larger stations like Croton-Harmon.

She's drunk.

Being that it was the day after after prom, I actually kinda agreed with what she said in her drunk rant. The conductor obviously did absolutely nothing wrong but the drunk lady ranted about my generation and how everyone is doing all sorts of unnecessary and trivial things at my age and living pretty meaninglessly. You know "kids these days with their pot and their loud rap music and their pointless bodybuilding." I took note that she didn't say "alcohol" in her rant. Even though there was such a wide age gap, this drunk woman was sharing this extraordinary TRUTH about life and youth and she got it and I got it and for a moment, we both knew "stuff".

This particular rant sparked some CRAZY MASSIVE questions in my mind. I am technically part of the generation she loathes,  but why did she rant to my face? Her rant was directed at me. And no, I wasn't the butt of it. It was directed at me in a sharing sense. Why me? Aren't I a representation of the youths she loathes? She asked me "Why are you so calm?" at the beginning of our encounter. At first I thought she was talking about our train being 5 minutes late. I responded with "I got here early, so I'm ready for any changes  in my agenda." But both that question AND that answer now have a double meaning after the rant. Now I think she asked that question because I wasn't being a loud rambunctious teenager. Most teens are "last minute" types of people, while I am usually prepared. I think she was shocked by my maturity and willingness to help her. I can name quite a few teens who would have ignored and maybe even ridiculed her...

Another big question. If she hates teen irresponsibility so much, how come SHE was the drunk one? This question led me to the conclusion that her hate did not come from a place of pity, but a place of envy. Maybe she got drunk to try and relive her own glory days and is upset she can't revive them. Maybe she is actually jealous of teen youthfulness. Maybe she just wants to be able to get away with the stuff teens could get away with. Maybe her drinking problem is the manifestation of her own mid-life-crisis!

And lastly, what does this whole situation say about me? I'm not doing any of the dumb things this lady loathes. Does that mean I'm on the right track life-wise? It surely doesn't mean all of the hung-over seniors are on the wrong track, I know that. But am I righter than everybody else for not being a typical teen? I dunno the answer to that. There is just too much grey area to cover... So that's my epic post for today. goodnight.